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   Secretary Of The Ulterior Clearly Vying For Better Cabinet Position

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10/5/2009 1:00 pm

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Humor

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Entered 10/5/2009, Updated 10/5/2009

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WASHINGTON—Following a Monday morning staff meeting, White House sources said it has become clear that Department of the Ulterior head Arthur Killen is jockeying for a higher-ranking cabinet position. "I thought I'd bring in some gourmet coffee cake today—no reason, really, I just know how everyone loves a nice coffee cake," Killen was overheard saying moments after he explained to Rahm Emanuel that he "had no idea" how a report addressing wasteful spending in the Department of Energy had ended up in the chief of staff's briefcase. "Where is [current Energy Secretary] Steven [Chu]? Oh, he's out of town today? Boy, he's really been missing a lot of work lately, hasn't he?" White House press secretary Robert Gibbs said it is unlikely Killen will be promoted, as the ulterior secretary's latest actions have once again proved he is ideally suited for his current position.


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