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   Congress Sets Sail In Search Of Fabled Sword Of Bipartisanship

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10/13/2010 10:00 am

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Humor

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Entered 10/13/2010, Updated 10/13/2010

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WASHINGTON—Thousands thronged the docks of the capital seaport last week to watch as Congressmen boarded galleys and set sail in search of the Lost Sword of Bipartisanship, a holy relic that according to legend has the power to restore collegial relations and procedural harmony to the legislative branch. Initial reports from sea confirm the expedition has already faced dire peril in its quest, which was reportedly inspired by a "radiant vision" of a sword that appeared before stunned senators and representatives in the Capitol rotunda a fortnight ago during negotiations over a minor wetlands preservation bill. "I know in my bones this is a sign," Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) was overheard saying as he fell to his knees, humbled by the hovering Sword's fabled embodiment of civil discourse, mutual respect, and practical, common sense. "To see an apparition of this sacred talisman, which cuts through bickering and self-interest, is to see that we have strayed in our ways, and that only the Sword itself can point us toward the true path." "We must seek the sword at once," said House Minority Leader John Boehner (R-OH), who, in a rare moment of alliance, knelt to join Reid in meek supplication. "Though we do not know where it is, it may be the only thing that can save us."


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